Free radicals that make my eyes sting.

( *drumroll* )

you tell me me, did I bring the goodies?
it took just about everything not to cry, crumble and phone john and in that order, fucking scary shit, but a good lesson in humility well learnt, and proof that fear is always worth feeling - If some fat troll didn't stamp my foot once she must have done it twenty times, in a space less then four feet wide trying to stay upright, not trip over a suitcase sized camera bag, a foot, a camera cable, microphone cord or diving band member suddenly becomes a hell of a lot harder then you thought it might be, but in a word epic. it took about twenty seconds - probably the twenty second directly after Toby landed feet first in my camera bag and got groped by fifteen overweight Goths like he was the anorexic coming of Christ - to realise this is it.

This is what I want to do, its a fit. I've had about a million career plans since I was sixteen, being a ballerina being the stupidest but I've realised - my toes will get stamped on, my shot will get stolen, there will always be someone who thinks they know more than you, they will stand on your shoes, they will push you around, your entire career is based on absolutely nothing except the click of a button, its going to cost more than a car to be professional, fear is as essential as a spare battery - but I'm okay with it all, if its not a fit the bad isn't worth the good I will get rammed by a woman the size of a monster truck to catch one frame. if that's not some kind of love nothing is.

Okay. less ramble, no cans were thrown and the press pit was bigger than the audience, the merchandise stall was being run by one of their mums, all esoterica fans are absolutely terrible at being members of society as they probably all write my chemical romance fan fiction, a press pass there is about as useful as a handkerchief when you're dying of polio but dude. dude. I'm fucking hanging it on my wall, because secretly I quite like my my chemical romance fan fics and I suck at life.

In other news bong, Tomorrow is Gary & I's three year anniversary, a whole thirty six months since we decided to share lives and not strangle one another with shoelaces. Shame we suck so much at romance though or we'd be in Paris eating cheese and having sex now, but Paris is overrated at best. I think we'll stick with gigs and random vinyl exchanges, it's always good to be on the same page. its not all james bond films and milk tray men ladies who knew true love was so easy to please ♥